How Perimenopause Is Like Climate Change
Navigating Hormonal Storms and the Collapse of My Inner Seasons
I used to be able to identify each of the 4 phases—Inner Seasons—of my menstrual cycle.
Firstly, Inner Winter—Menstruation. Where my hormones are low. And all I want is to hide from the world. Restore my energy. And reflect on my past cycle.
Then, my Inner Spring—The Follicular Phase. Where oestrogen begins to rise. My energy returns. And motivation and excitement follow. I am a playful, social, mischievous version of myself. One who doesn’t want to miss out on anything.
After Spring comes Summer—Ovulation. Where oestrogen and testosterone peak. And I’m an absolute boss at everything. I am the most authoritative, eloquent and confident version of myself.
Then it’s into Inner Autumn—The Luteal Phase. Where progesterone dominates. I’m getting things organised. Focusing on the essentials. And making decisions. I’m a mellower, more mature, empathetic version of myself.
And then come the transition days. The ‘voids’. The in-betweens.
The shift from summer to autumn, and from autumn to winter. Where my hormones are dropping. And I feel the ground giving way beneath me. A time I need to lower my expectations. And get more sleep.
The shift from winter to spring, and from spring to summer. Where my hormones are rising. A time I experience headaches and anxiety (a bit like a caffeine hit). Meaning I need to take more breaks. And not let my ego (oestrogen wild side) take over.
This is my cycle.
This is what I have studied and got to know at a profound level. I could literally predict my energy. My motivation. My moods.
Each cycle would be the same as the last. And I could pinpoint when my vulnerabilities would show. What days I’d have certain ‘strengths’. And what I would need each day in order to support myself.
Things have changed
But as my cycle and hormones have shifted over the last few years (and more so in the last 18 months), I’m struggling.
Mentally.
Physically.
Emotionally.
Some cycles are still my ‘normal’ 4-phase—four-season—cycle. Where I’m ovulating and my body (and brain) knows what’s going on and what to expect.
But more and more—I’m having anovulatory cycles. (This is when an egg isn’t released, so ovulation doesn’t happen. No ovulation means no progesterone.)
So I’m spending more time in the ‘void’. In the in-between.
Not only that, but my oestrogen surges. Over and over again. As my body tries to make ovulation happen.
And between the surges, there are drops. Sudden, confusing drops.
(Note: I can always tell what my oestrogen is doing by observing my cervical mucus.)
Hormonal Shit-Shows
As a result, I’m experiencing more hormonal shit-shows. Let me give you an example of what happened recently.
I went from feeling overwhelming gratitude and peace within my body one minute. To uncontrollable rage the next.
That moved into a deep, end-of-the-world, black hole, sinking feeling.
Then came a burst of excitement. Energy. A confident, change-the-world vibe.
Which then plummeted into anxiety. And a crushing fear that made me want to run and hide from the very world I was just planning to change.
Honestly, it was over and over. Round and round. For days.
And the thing is—I can cope with these feelings when they come with each season of my cycle (which they usually do.)
But when they hit all at once?
I feel—Crushed. Lost. Confused. Raw. Vulnerable.
All the seasons in a single day
After trying to explain to my husband what I’ve been experiencing (he takes the brunt of many of my meltdowns), he said it sounded like ‘climate change’.
Like I was experiencing all the seasons in one day—like it does here in the UK. And he was spot on. That’s exactly how it feels.
And funnily enough, in the book Wise Power, the authors say the same thing about perimenopause—
“The Inner Seasons don’t work in the way I’m used to — they can all happen at any moment in the anovulatory cycle. It’s like climate change. It is climate change!”
I’ve learned to cope with my vulnerabilities as they arise in each of my phases. I can predict them. I know what I need to support myself. After all, each phase has different vulnerabilities and different needs.
But when all of them arrive at once—and I have no way to predict them—I don’t know whether it’s suncream, a raincoat, snow boots or an umbrella that I need.
The Quickening
One thing that has helped is reading Wise Power by Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer. I highly recommend it if you’re going through perimenopause. Or as they call it, the Quickening.
It’s made me realise that even though I may feel lost and disoriented as my menstrual cycle, my anchor, starts to come adrift—all of this is entirely normal.
“In your 40s you hit the autumn of your menstruating years.
It’s normal now to feel a restlessness kick in and an urgency to answer life’s deeper questions:
‘What’s it all about?
What do I really want?’”
The authors say our 40s are all about listening more strongly to that deeper pulse within us. The one that’s “beyond societal expectations and demands.”
That we may start feeling the impact of our past. And a deep desire to understand ourselves better.
Inner Work & Healing
In a nutshell, this autumn phase of our life really is the time for inner work and healing.
“It’s true that, hormonally, you do shift in your 40s, but that doesn’t need to spell declining health, as though it were an inevitability.
Your hormonal health is a monitor and mirror of your overall health and wellbeing.
So, think of it as a report card on how you’re doing – with any symptoms as a cry for attention, for self-care.
You can’t ignore or take your health for granted any longer. Self-care is now non-negotiable.”
This is something that I am now taking to heart.
My 40s is for me. A time for me to learn. To rethink how I support myself.
To heal.
To nourish.
To grow.
To understand this normal transition.
And to use it—with love and intention—to guide this decade of my life.